Take a deep breath, a real one, and pause. Nothing that’s going on right now is ever as bad as you imagine in the moment. 

That feeling in your stomach, the raw achy, burning feeling that won’t stop churning is your body telling you to relax, because you’re only hurting yourself.

Stop being so serious, loosen up, lighten up, and just be here now.

Breathe again, and remember that making things a crisis, doesn’t help you solve anything, it only makes it feel harder, you don’t need this as motivation anymore. 

Get rid of your restrictions, limitations, the things that don’t feel good. Literally, if those pants you’re wearing are too tight, go change and get comfy. You don’t need to look a certain way, but you do need to feel a certain way

That feels better doesn’t it?

Remember there are a million different ways to do something, so if the solution you’re focusing on isn’t working, it’s time to let it go, and change course.

Your answers aren’t upstream. 

You don’t have to do this alone, you have help from wise friends, family here with you, and family not with you.

Don’t be afraid to feel things, you can’t pick and choose, you have to feel it all, and avoiding the feelings that scare you or you don’t like only makes you even more lost in times like this. You need to make friends with all the feelings and trust that it’s all there to help you.

Everything is going to work out ok, and even though you can’t get a hug from a parent like you always wanted, to tell you that it’s all going to be ok, and to soak up all that pain and fear and hurt, I’m telling you it’s all going to be ok, and I’m hugging you right now.

Remember every major low point in your life has led you to the best parts of your life, but it never felt like that at the time, it seemed like your world was falling apart. It didn’t.

Slow down. Rusing never made you feel better about anything, and it leads to missing things and making mistakes, no need to add to your plate right now.

You feel like you need to get it done right now, so it will all be over, because you don’t feel like you can keep going on like this, but don’t listen to that. There will never be a “done” that makes you feel like you can just relax, there’s always something more that you’ll want to be working on. You need to believe me when I say it’s ok to take a break, you need rest, you need balance.

This thing called life is not a sprint, it’s not even a marathon, it’s just a stroll along. You need to enjoy the stroll, there is no, “you have arrived and now have permission to relax and breathe”

If that’s what you need to relax and breathe, go take a shower, relax and breathe. 

And this one thing that’s been bringing you down, the one that you keep asking yourself, “why am I so bad at this?” You’re not bad at it, you just need to learn more, and so what if it didn’t come naturally to you? There are so many things that do come naturally. 

If you want this you’ll do it, just like everything else important in your life that you put your mind to. 

Be kind to yourself. And when your son asks you, “why wasn’t your dad nicer to you?” and you have no good answer, remember that all of this is making you the parent you wished you had. 

Stay off of social media, go outside and do something fun. Paint, draw, laugh. 

Rise up, you got this.