Mindset

How I went from suicidal to

January 6, 2024

To loving ❤️ my life again

Old Sam in 2015 (How it started)

-Suicidal feeling like life was over after having first child and suffering from PPD

-Overwhelmed with anxiety and panic not knowing what to do with my life feeling hopeless

-Stuck in bed, unable to exercise, second guessing every decision, literally stuck in life

-Thinking that chasing more degrees would prove that I was good enough

New Sam in 2024 (How it’s going)

-Back riding after 20 yrs off,  riding better than I did in my 20s

-Multiple podcast appearances and a NF masterclass

-Coaching riders all over the world, transforming their lives in ways that blows my mind

-Inspired and energized to wake up each day 

-surrounded by the best team of people and loving my life!

What was the change that happened?

Here’s what I did:

1) I invested in a mentor

You might not think you have the money to invest, but you’re just making an excuse to stay where you are. You need to change first for your life to change. Waiting for the perfect moment to act, will leave you stuck in hell. Find the person that resonates with you, then take the leap.

2) Traded Overwhelm for Growth

You can do this, just because you feel inspiration, doesn’t mean it will last, and it certainly won’t keep you in control when things get hard. Overwhelm will come, and you need to stop accepting it as an inevitable part of your life. Don’t give up, you are on the cusp of a breakthrough, but only if you don’t stay stuck where you are. Do not run away. Consistency in action and mindset matters.

3) Commit first

You can’t wait to see the path, and feel fully confident about what direction to go in a moment of crisis. You have to know that you can change, and that you are committed to changing first. Then start taking action, and the next steps will be revealed.

I know how hard it can be, and thankfully those days are far behind me, but I will never forget how powerless and hopeless I felt in those low moments. I literally thought that my life was over, because I was just a shell of who I used to be. I truly thought that my best days were behind me, and that I’d never get to experience a life that felt free and inspired, and simply fun.

My existence had become living with a paralyzing anxiety that literally made it hard to breathe and be in my own skin. I wanted company, but I didn’t want to be with anyone else in that state. It was a horrible place to be, and worst of all no one, not even the people closest to me in my life, had any understanding of what I was going through. I even had someone at one point tell me to, “just get over it.”

As if I would stay in that hell if I knew how to stop it.

So I wanted to just end it all, and had it not been for the new child that I knew I couldn’t leave without a mother, I knew I had to figure it out, and change my reality.

I did everything I could. I tried therapy, and it helped, but still left me feeling like I was completely reliant upon my sessions to give me relief, and it made me feel like my life revolved around the very issue I wanted out of my life more than anything. I tried medication, because I wanted so badly for a solution to just let me be “normal” again.

But that was terrifying in and of itself to even try. What if it made it worse?And it did at first, so that became my new focus of my life, trying to find the right medication, and for a little bit it did work. But it was such a small difference, that I decided that there had to be a better way.

So I decided to start to focus on the solution, rather than the problem. I didn’t know it at the time, but that in and of itself was the start of my path to freedom.

I didn’t want to just feel better enough to cope with life, I wanted to feel empowered and capable of doing anything again, and to actually LIVE, not just survive.

And because I know how hard it is to do, I’ve created a program that gives the you step by process that took me from my hell to where I am today. In those darkest moments where I felt like I was stuck in the bottom of a deep well, with no way out, I swore that if I ever got out of there, I’d help other people get out of that place too.

For years I worked with my clients 1:1, and then in a group, but even that didn’t quite feel like I was doing enough, because only a select few could make the 5 figure investment to work with me, and I knew what I had created had to be available to anyone that wanted to truly live.

You get the daily practices, and tools and stop being paralyzed by fear and doubt is keeping you from being your best

So if you’re ready to get unstuck in your life, and live and ride your best, what are you waiting for?

Head over to learn more about the program here!

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I'm a Rider, Author, Artist, Coach, Acupuncturist, Dreamer, Mother and World's Most Random Human

That's just the beginning! I'm also a manifestation expert, healer, fear busting, bulletproof mindset creating master, nature loving, competitive freeskier, former wildland firefighter-stone mason-biology teacher, Mongol Derby competitor, and tough-as-nails achiever.

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